Monday, March 26, 2018

Five Things Parents Need to Do to Help Students Prepare for College


Children grow up so fast.  Wasn't it just yesterday they were just learning to walk?  Before you know it, the years slip by and your baby is starting high school.  As they're making this transition into adulthood, what can you do to help them prepare for their future?

1. Help them explore their interests and talents

OK, nobody knows what they want to do for the rest of their life when they're 16.  Well, almost nobody.  And I'm not suggesting you pressure your child to make major life decisions at this time.  But if you thought the Kindergarten through 8th grade years went fast, high school will fly by even faster.  Helping your child think about possible career and education directions during the first few years of high school will really help when it comes time for college applications.

2. Encourage your child to connect with the school's academic counselor

The counselor knows a lot about what options are out there, and how the process works.  Take advantage of his or her expertise to gather all the information you can while considering your child's options.

3. But don't let anyone - including you - pressure your child to make decisions they're not comfortable with

Everybody has advice for high school students, and of course you have your child's best interests in mind.  But remember, this is your child's life - not yours - and although you can provide input and advice, it ultimately needs to be their decision.  Too much pressure on your child can backfire, causing them to completely shut down and make poor decisions, resulting in anger and frustration all around.  Be supportive, state your thoughts and concerns openly, and be clear about what you are willing to do to support your child, but accept that it is ultimately their decision.

4. Be open and honest about your family's financial situation and what financial support you can provide for college

This is a difficult topic for some families to discuss.  As a counselor, I work with many students who tell me they don't have any idea of their family's income because their parents won't talk about it - they just say "don't worry".  Again, I know this comes out of a loving intention, but it makes it very difficult for me to discuss college options with your child if I don't have any idea about the family's financial situation. Students may be eliminating some options as too expensive, even though they would qualify for significant financial aid. In fact, some schools are committed to meeting 100% of a student's demonstrated financial need, meaning that if the family income is very low, the student may get a full scholarship.  There are a lot of factors that affect financial aid, and I can't always determine how much a student will get, but I've had enough experience with this to give a general idea of what students in a given family income bracket can likely expect.  Without a general idea of family income, it severely limits my ability to accurately and effectively advise students.  To get a better idea of what your financial aid picture is likely to be, use the FAFSA4caster and the net price calculators available on all college websites.

5. Start having these financial discussions early

It takes a while to sort out the financial details of getting a college degree, and sticker shock can indeed be quite shocking.  Remember that the majority of students do not pay the full cost of attendance; roughly 2/3 of students receive some sort of financial aid, and over half of that aid is in the form of grants and scholarships rather than loans.  And early planning can help you to think about creative ways to reduce college costs and avoid loans (For more on college costs and financial aid, see these posts from 2013 or this post from 2015). During the course of my career, I have seen far too many students limit their choices because they ran out of time to figure out what was possible.

To sum it all up:

To sum up the advice in this post: start your planning (both academic and financial) early. It takes time to figure this all out, and senior year will be here before you know it.  Research financial aid, using the FAFSA4caster and net price calculators on college websites.  Work with your school counselor to help identify potential college options and to get an idea of how much it will actually cost YOUR family (which is likely different than the published cost of attendance).  And last of all, enjoy the ride, because it will be over before you know it.

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